The New Normal Me: Why I’m not ready to say buh-bye to Lockdown Me just yet

…except the split ends – they can do one…

Today marks the day when a lot of us here in Wales can finally travel further than five measly miles from our doorsteps and even hug (hug!) our favourite people. It’s felt like a really long time coming, and although nothing’s going “back to normal” yet by any stretch – Coronavirus is still around and it’s still killing people – I cannot wait to give my Mum a proper cwtch, sit in my local beer garden (if the Welsh weather plays nice), wander a bit further than just local and see all those favourite corners of my hometown again, get my split ends taken care of (ugh), and – yeah – pop into T K Maxx to pick up a five quid candle just because I can. I cannot wait.

We’ve all got our “Buh-Bye Lockdown Bucket List” ready and raring, as well as a list probably a mile long of all those things about four months in hibernation that we’re definitely not going to miss – whether we’re stepping out today or in a few weeks or months time when we feel safe enough to do so – but what about the things that we are going to miss? There’s got to be at least a few! Whether we like it or not, the Lockdown has bound to have changed us all in some way, and the person stepping out of the front door tomorrow is not going to be an identical, unaltered version of the one who closed that same door back in March. From the physical to the emotional, there’ll be some marked differences. We might be a little softer around the middle; perhaps a little more anxious, a little less trusting. Maybe we’ve lost loved ones, or seen some of our closest relationships break under the strain of long distance, or from being smushed together under one roof for months on end. It’s been tough.

But what about the good stuff? What about all the ways in which Lockdown has changed us for the better? What about all those little discoveries we’ve made and the things we’ve learned about ourselves and others over the past few months? The new habits, hobbies and moments of happiness during those dark days – no matter how small. Are we going to say buh-bye to those too?

For me, the best thing about Lockdown has been the fact that – while it’s obviously complicated everyday life in so many ways – it’s made it simpler too. It’s made the things that matter most to me incredibly clear, and suddenly I’m so much more appreciative of the little things day to day – the simple stuff – that makes me happy. I’ve genuinely loved doing the weekly shop for my Mum and Dad; not just to keep them safe, but for the hours long chat in their garden at the other end. The plant and magazine swaps and TV recs – all those shows I’d never have watched and enjoyed if it hadn’t been for Lockdown (Future Man – who knew!). My skin – having had a four month long break from makeup – has never looked better (…minus a spot of sunburn back in May – whoops). My hair – even though it’s much longer than I like and that suits me – has definitely loved having a bit of a break from heat styling.

As soon as the rules eased back in May and my husband and I were finally allowed to exercise outdoors together again (and I use the word “exercise” in the laziest way possible…), we started taking the dog on long walks and suddenly discovered so much more of our neighbourhood – from public paths we never knew existed to lovely neighbours (and – more importantly – their dogs) that we’d never met. Around the house, we’ve got on top of a few chores and DIY bits and bobs – ticking things off a list I wrote well over a year ago. I’ve had more time to read (turns out travel books like Felicity Cloake’s “One More Croissant for the Road” are the cure to the Lockdown Travel Ban) and bake and to get into the habit of doing yoga (almost) every morning – and I’ve finally trained the dog to behave and not dig around in the garden… almost. Which has never looked better by the way. Oh, and I’m never going to take for granted the luxury of going for a stroll around the shops with a coffee and cake pit stop in my favourite café ever again.

Now that Lockdown is easing up and we’re heading into that “new normal” that everyone keeps banging on about, I’m suddenly in a weird place where I’m not sure whether I can or even want to go back to the Me that existed before. As well as accepting the new normal post Lockdown, we’re all faced with accepting a new normal version of ourselves too – and mashing together who we were before Lockdown with the best bits of ourselves that we perhaps only discovered existed because of Lockdown.

Which bits of Lockdown are you going to be sad to say goodbye to? Which habits are you going to be holding on tight to?